Last night I asked my family to come over and pray over Elliott together. Yes, of course we pray over her anyways, everyday, multiple times a day but I just wanted us to gather together and pray for my girl. So we did. We prayed God would heal her, we prayed we would go today and the doctors would be shocked because they can’t find anything wrong with her, and we will pray these things till the moment she‘s born. And we aren’t the only ones praying for her. There are so many people praying for Elliott. People who don’t even know me and I don’t know them but they are praying.
As we watched Elliott move and saw her little heart beat during the ultrasound, I asked if her head was still the same..
Yes. Yes it is.
I told the ultrasoind tech that I just had to ask, and I have so far during every ultrasound because I am praying the Lord heals her. I have faith in miracles and that He can do what He says He can. There is no doubt in my mind of that. I hope and pray for her healing every time I think of her, which is a lot.
I pray daily, several times a day that I don’t have to bury my little girl because I’m not sure my heart can take it. I don’t want to have to take it. I want her.
But here‘s another thing I have to remember, even if I don’t like it, that No is an answer too.
That His will may be different than what I’m praying, begging God for.
Because even if the He doesn’t heal her, He is still a good, good Father.
He gave us her. He chose me to carry her. I’m getting to love her. I’m giving her life inside of me, and I pray even if only for a minute, outside of me.
I have no idea why Hes allowing me to walk through this but He is and there is a reason. I may not find out why for a very long time, but there is a reason.
This may not be the ideal pregnancy journey but I am thankful and will be forever for Elliott. Nothing can ever change that.
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